


Pentagon Wackass Group Chat

by blue_rose_123197



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:27:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 10,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23224777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_rose_123197/pseuds/blue_rose_123197
Summary: Starting usernames:Hui-Let me live pleaseHongseok-Mother dearestJinho-Better motherShinwon-ShitwonChanggu-Visual godYanan-SunshineYuto-Dark overlordHyunggu-Precious childWooseok-Giant babyThey’re in college. Shinwon, Changgu, and Hyunggu go to one college and live in an apartment together, and Hui, Jinho, Hongseok, Yuto, Wooseok, and Yanan go to another college and live in a different apartment together about 10 minutes away.
Relationships: Adachi Yuto/Kang Hyunggu | Kino, Jo Jinho | Jino/Lee Hwitaek | Hui, Jung Wooseok/Ko Shinwon, Yan An/Yeo Changgu | Yeo One
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starting usernames:
> 
> Hui-Let me live please  
> Hongseok-Mother dearest  
> Jinho-Better mother  
> Shinwon-Shitwon  
> Changgu-Visual god  
> Yanan-Sunshine  
> Yuto-Dark overlord  
> Hyunggu-Precious child  
> Wooseok-Giant baby
> 
> They’re in college. Shinwon, Changgu, and Hyunggu go to one college and live in an apartment together, and Hui, Jinho, Hongseok, Yuto, Wooseok, and Yanan go to another college and live in a different apartment together about 10 minutes away.

**Pentacrack**

Let me live please has created a group chat!

Let me live please has name the group chat “Pentacrack”

Let me live please has added Mother dearest, Better mother, Shitwon, Visual god, Sunshine, Dark overlord, Precious child, and Giant baby to the group chat!

Dark overlord has left the group chat

Let me live please has added Dark overlord to the group chat!

Dark overlord: i hate you

Let me live please: love you too yuto

Shitwon has changed their name to “The love of yanan’s life”

Visual god has changed their name to “The REAL love of yanan’s life”

The love of yanan’s life: bitch

The REAL love of yanan’s life: shitwon stop talking to yourself people will think youre insane

Let me live please: oh dear not again

Mother dearest: UHM EXCUSE ME WHO IS THIS “BETTER MOTHER”

Better mother: me

Mother dearest: yes i nOTICED THAT

Mother dearest: but who ARE you

Better mother: im the better mother

Mother dearest: -.-

Giant baby: hyung how do you not know

Giant baby: its obviously the person in this friend group whos a better mother than you

Mother dearest: -_____-

Precious child: Hi guys! 😊

Let me live please: hello hyunggu

Let me live please: at least SOMEONE is being normal

Giant baby: um hyung when have you EVER known us to be normal lol

Mother dearest: seriously WHO IS “BETTER MOTHER”

Precious child: Oh that’s Jinho Hyung.

Mother dearest: BIIIITCH

Giant baby: hyunggu you ruined it

Precious child: I’m sorry. :(

Better mother: its okay hyunggu dont worry about it ❤

Precious child: :3

Giant baby: see that hongseok hyung

Giant baby: thats why jinho hyung is the better mother

Mother dearest: -_________________________________-

Sunshine: Hi everyone!

The love of yanan’s life: HI YANAN TELL THEM THAT IM THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE

Sunshine: Um who is speaking?

The REAL love of yanan’s life: lol shitwon you tried

The love of yanan’s life: changgu i swear to god i know where you live dont make me go to your house and murder you in your sleep

The REAL love of yanan’s life: bitch i literally live with you

Better mother: no shinwon there will be no murdering

Giant baby: see hyung look at that

Giant baby: jinho hyung is stopping shitwon from committing a felony and simultaneously saving changgu hyung from a very slow and painful death at shitwons hands

Giant baby: did you ever do that hongseok hyung

Giant baby: no

Giant baby: so obviously jinho hyung is the better mother

Mother dearest: hui dont add me back

Mother dearest has left the group chat

Let me live please has added Mother dearest to the group chat!

Mother dearest: HUI

Let me live please: im sorry hongseok but i agree with them youre a terrible mother

Let me live please: jinho hyung is much better at

Let me live please: controlling them than you are

Mother dearest: i hate you all

Sunshine: Don’t worry Hyung I still like you.

Mother dearest: why thank you yanan

Mother dearest: at least SOMEONE still thinks im the better mom

Sunshine: Oh I don’t Hyung.

Sunshine: Jinho Hyung is MUCH better at being a mother than you are.

Mother dearest: ...

Mother dearest: DAMN IT

Sunshine: :3

Mother dearest: I CANT EVEN HATE HIM FOR IT BECAUSE HES TOO CUTE

Mother dearest: come one

Mother dearest: yuto

Mother dearest: hyunggu

Mother dearest: changgu

Mother dearest: you guys think im the better mom right?

Dark overlord: no

The REAL love of yanan’s life: nope

Precious child: Not really, sorry Hyung. :/

Mother dearest: ...

Mother dearest: SHINWON

Mother dearest: PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU

Mother dearest: IM THE BETTER MOM RIGHT????

The love of yanan’s life: oops sorry i dont believe in mothers

The love of yanan’s life: yall aint ever done shit for me

The love of yanan’s life: i dont need no useless mom to bully me

The love of yanan’s life: i only need yanans love

The REAL love of yanan’s life: youre not gonna get it

Sunshine: You’re not gonna get it.

Giant baby: DAMN

Giant baby: guys can we get an f in the chat for shitwons broken heart

Mother dearest: f

Better mother: f

Giant baby: f

Precious child: F

Dark overlord: f

The REAL love of yanan’s life: f

The REAL love of yanan’s life: lmao

The love of yanan’s life: I JUST WANT YANANS LOVE OKAY

Let me live please: this was a mistake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I'm starting a new story but don't worry this one is already fully written because I wasn't 100% sure if I would actually publish it until I finished it so yay.


	2. Chapter 2

**Pentacrack**

Let me live please: guys i think we need to have a talk about personal space

Giant baby: uh why

Let me live please: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHY YOU ARE LAYING ON TOP OF ME

Let me live please: GET OFF ME YOU BIG IDIOT

Giant baby: fine

Let me live please: OH MY GOD I CAN BREATHE AGAIN

Let me live please: JINHO HYUNG I CAN BREATHE AGAIN

Better mother: yay

Giant baby: see hongseok hyung jinho hyung cares that hui hyung can breathe again thats why hes the better mother

Mother dearest: OH MY GOD WHY ARE WE STILL ON THIS IT WAS LIKE LAST WEEK

Precious child: You should probably change your username though Hyung. :/

Mother dearest: -_-

Giant baby has changed Mother dearest’s name to “Ex mother”

Ex mother: WOOSEOK

Giant baby: i have no regrets

Ex mother: I WILL BURN YOU AT THE STAKE

Giant baby: ...

Giant baby: eh still no regrets

Ex mother: JINHO HYUNG   
  


Ex mother: IF YOURE SUCH A GREAT MOM THEN WHY DONT YOU TELL HIM TO STOP THIS DISRESPECT

Better mother: eh

Better mother: he’s fine

Better mother: he’s not hurting anyone

Giant baby: :)

Ex mother: HES HURTING MY FEELINGS

Better mother: hongseok your feelings are irrelevant

Ex mother: -________________-

Precious child: Um Hyungs I just heard glass shattering and someone screaming.

The love of yanan’s life: FUCK GUYS

Let me live please: oh no what now

The love of yanan’s life: I JUST KNOCKED A GLASS FULL OF WATER OFF THE COUNTER

The love of yanan’s life: BUT IT WAS DARK AND I COULDNT SEE SO I STEPPED FORWARD   
  


The love of yanan’s life: AND I STEPPED ON A SHARD OF GLASS

The love of yanan’s life: SO THEN I JUMPED BACK

The love of yanan’s life: AND GUESS WHAT HAPPENED THEN

The love of yanan’s life: I STEPPED ON  _ ANOTHER SHARD OF GLASS _

The REAL love of yanan’s life: IT WAS SO FUNNY OMG

The REAL love of yanan’s life: I WAS JUST WATCHING YOUTUBE AND I HEARD GLASS BREAKING AND THEN I HEAR SHITWON SCREAM

The REAL love of yanan’s life: SO I RUN DOWNSTAIRS AND SEE THIS IDIOT STEP ON ANOTHER PIECE OF GLASS AND SCREAM AGAIN

The REAL love of yanan’s life: IT WAS JUST THE FUNNIEST SHIT

The love of yanan’s life: HELP ME BITCH

The love of yanan’s life: ITS BLEEDING A LOT WHAT DO I DO

Better mother: OH MY GOD SHINWON WE NEED TO GET YOU TO THE HOSPITAL

Better mother: I’M ON MY WAY I’LL BE AT YOUR DORM IN 10

Better mother: HUI’S COMING TOO WE’RE GONNA TAKE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL

Let me live please: changgu take care of him in the meantime

The REAL love of yanan’s life: OH MY GOD I CANT THIS SHIT IS JUST TOO FUNNY

The REAL love of yanan’s life: THIS BITCH IS JUST SITTING ON THE FLOOR SURROUNDED IN WATER AND BROKEN GLASS SOBBING HIS FUCKING EYES OUT

The REAL love of yanan’s life: THIS IS THE FUNNIEST SHIT I FUCKING CANT

The love of yanan’s life: BITCH

Precious child: Shinwon Hyung are you okay? :(

The love of yanan’s life: i mean i dont know if you call EXCRUCIATING PAIN OKAY THEN SURE IM DOING JUST GREAT

The love of yanan’s life: CHANGGU GET YOUR UGLY FUCKING ASS OVER HERE AND HELP ME YOU SHIT HEAD

Giant baby: hui hyung did you and jinho hyung get there yet

Let me live please: almost there hang in there shinwon

Ex mother: damn

Ex mother: i leave for 20 minutes and yall have already hurt yourselves

Ex mother: are you sure this doesnt have anything to do with the fact that I, the BETTER MOM, wasnt there

Giant baby: oh no dont worry about it hyung

Giant baby: jinho hyungs got everything under control

Ex mother: i quit

Giant baby: okay

Precious child: Guys there’s so much broken glass. :(

Let me live please: HYUNGGU DONT TOUCH IT DONT HURT YOURSELF

Precious child: Don’t worry Hyung, I’m just cleaning up.

Precious child: It’s a little easier now that Shinwon Hyung isn’t sitting here sobbing his eyes out.

Precious child: It would be even easier though if Changgu Hyung would help me instead of laughing. -.-

The REAL love of yanan’s life: IM SORRY IT WAS JUST SO FUNNY

Sunshine: Changgu have pity on him he’s probably in pain.

The REAL love of yanan’s life: okay yanan

The love of yanan’s life: YANAN HI IM OKAY I FEEL BETTER NOW THAT YOURE HERE IM FINE I DONT EVEN NEED TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL ANYMORE

Let me live please: really cause youre still sobbing in pain in the back of the car

Sunshine: Shinwon Hyung just go to the hospital.

The REAL love of yanan’s life: shitwon your love just got rejected again

The REAL love of yanan’s life: but guess what

The REAL love of yanan’s life: MINE DIDNT

The REAL love of yanan’s life has changed The love of yanan’s life’s name to “Shitwon the clumsy fuck”

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: CHANGGU I FUCKING HATE YOU

The REAL love of yanan’s life has changed their name to “Yanan’s favorite”

Yanan’s favorite: :)

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: hui hyung why did you give changgu admin rights???

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: better yet, why did you take away MY admin rights????

Let me live please: becaues i dont trust you with admin rights

Giant baby: hey guys wheres yuto

Yanan’s favorite: i dont know bitch youre the one that lives with him

Giant baby: well i dont know where he is so

Sunshine: He’s with me. We’re at the mall.

Giant baby: sounds like a date 👀

Sunshine: Not really.

Sunshine: Yuto just needed help getting new clothes but he didn’t trust anyone else in the dorm.

Yanan’s favorite: yikes

Yanan’s favorite: harsh

Ex mother: well why isnt he answering our fucking texts

Sunshine: He doesn’t want to. He says you’re all annoying.

Precious child: :(

Sunshine: He says you’re all annoying except Hyunggu.

Precious child: :D

Giant baby: guys we need a way to get yuto to answer our texts

Sunshine: He says good luck with that.

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: I GOT IT GUYS

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: LETS ALL YELL YUTODA ON THE COUNT OF 3

Precious child: Hyung why are you typing in all caps?

Let me live please: the doctor is pulling the shards of glass out of his foot

Let me live please: she told him he could use his phone if it stopped him from screaming

Better mother: he’s screaming through text to stop himself from screaming out loud

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: IM FINE GUYS I SWEAR LETS JUST YELL YUTODA ON THE COUNT OF 3

Ex mother: eh why not

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: 1

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: 2

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: 3

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: YUTODA

Ex mother: YUTODA

Let me live please: YUTODA

Better mother: YUTODA

Giant baby: YUTODA

Yanan’s favorite: YUTODA

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: ...

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: shit it didnt work

Sunshine: Yuto says he hates you all.

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: WAIT HYUNGGU YOU DIDNT DO IT

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: THATS WHY IT DIDNT WORK

Better mother: it’s really not

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: WE ALL HAD TO DO IT HYUNGGU THAT MEANS YOU TOO

Precious child: But I’m confused? Why are we yelling at Yuto Hyung?

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: WERE TRYING TO GET HIM TO ANSWER OUR TEXTS

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: COME ON HYUNGGU PLEASE

Precious child: Alright I guess...

Precious child: Yutoda Hyung?

Dark overlord: yes

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: FFFYGUCYCUJbKJDCTYYJBK

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: IT WORKED IM A FUCKING EVIL GENIUS

Better mother: shinwon i hate to break it to you but i dont think thats why he answered

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: YES IT IS WHY ELSE WOULD HE HAVE ANSWERED

Better mother: because it’s

Better mother: nevermind

Yanan’s favorite: lmao

Yanan’s favorite has changed Dark overlord’s name to “Yutoda”

Yanan’s favorite: everyone just go with it let him believe that hes actually got some brain cells in there

Giant baby: if none of you will tell him i will

Giant baby: i wanna crush his spirit

Yanan’s favorite: NU

Giant baby: shinwon hyung

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: YES

Giant baby: yuto didnt-

Yanan’s favorite has removed Giant baby from the group chat

Better mother: lol

Ex mother: it had to be done

Let me live please: guys were on our way back from the hospital were just gonna drop shitwon off at home and then well be back

Let me live please: shinwon*

Let me live please: sorry

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: im going with wooseok

Shitwon the clumsy fuck has left the group chat


	3. Chapter 3

**Pentacrack**

Yanan’s favorite has added Giant baby and Shitwon the clumsy fuck to the group chat!

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: BITCH

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: I WAS STARTING TO GET ACNE WAITING FOR YOU TO ADD ME BACK

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: BUT DONT THINK THAT ILL START BEING NICE TO YOU JUST BECAUSE YOURE GOING SOFT

Yanan’s favorite: bitch dont get your fucking hopes up

Yanan’s favorite: jinho hyung made me do it

Yanan’s favorite: something about common decency

Yanan’s favorite: idk i wasnt really listening

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: thats great bitch now change my fucking name

Yanan’s favorite: nah i think its perfect

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: biiiitch

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: fine ill get hui hyung to change it

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: hui hyung

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: hyung

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: HYUNG GET OVER HERE AND CHANGE MY NAME

Better mother: shinwon, no offense, but shut up

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: jinho hyung go get hui hyung for me

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: nobody else has admin rights and changgus being a bitch

Better mother: im going to have to go with no

Better mother: hui is sleeping for the first time in like

Better mother: a week and a half

Better mother: so he really needs to sleep

Better mother: he muted the chat for now

Better mother: and i love you all, but if any one of you wakes him up, i will personally steal your liver

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: NO DONT STEAL YANAN FROM ME

Yanan’s favorite: okay first of all

Yanan’s favorite: he said liver

Yanan’s favorite: not lover

Yanan’s favorite: and second of all

Yanan’s favorite: yanan doesnt love you anyway

Yanan’s favorite: im his favorite just check my username

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: you made that you little shit

Yanan’s favorite: and did yanan disagree? No

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: whatever bitch

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: does anyone else have admin rights

Precious child: Doesn’t Wooseok have admin rights?

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: ...

Shitwon the clumsy fuck: WOOSEOK I BEG OF YOU

Giant baby has changed Shitwon the clumsy fuck’s name to “Clumsy fuck”

Giant baby: there now its shorter

Clumsy fuck: ...

Clumsy fuck: WOOSEOK I HATE YOU


	4. Chapter 4

**Pentacrack**

Clumsy fuck: yall ever just look in the mirror and realize that you look like a shittily drawn animation

Ex mother: shitwon what the fuck

Precious child: Hyung has been a bit delusional the past couple days since he can’t get up because of his feet.

Yanan’s favorite: hah idiot

Clumsy fuck: changgu i will murder you

Yanan’s favorite: you cant get up

Yanan’s favorite: good luck

Better mother: shinwon how are you doing

Clumsy fuck: its cold

Clumsy fuck: changgu wont turn the heat up because hes fucking insane and likes to sit in a freezing room

Yanan’s favorite: bitch i dont even have control over the ac

Yanan’s favorite: and its like 110 out the ac is on so that we dont die of heat stroke

Precious child: Hyung is okay for the most part, just bored. I’m trying to take care of him, but Changgu Hyung still won’t help.

Yanan’s favorite: not until that bitch admits that i have yanans love and he doesnt

Clumsy fuck: NEVER

Yanan’s favorite: then suffer bitch

Sunshine: Changgu you should help.

Yanan’s favorite: alright but only because you told me to

Let me live please: dont worry shinwon

Let me live please: jinho hyung wooseok and i are coming over were gonna help you

Precious child: That’s good Hyung, because I have a class in like 15 minutes and Changgu Hyung still isn’t helping, he just threw a blanket at Shinwon Hyung and told him to stop complaining about the ac.

Ex mother: damn yall are going to the apartment with ac and you didnt tell me

Ex mother: im fucking burning over here

Precious child: Why Hyung?

Ex mother: our entire building lost power cause of the heat

Ex mother: which means we have no ac

Ex mother: the milk also spoiled because the fridge is out

Ex mother: and all the meat we had in there

Ex mother: now our apartment smells like sweat spoiled milk and rotten meat

Ex mother: i have to sit in a bucket of fucking ice water just to keep from overheating

Yanan’s favorite: where did you get a bucket of ice water if you have no power

Ex mother: unspecified

Precious child: Hyung you could come to our apartment too.

Clumsy fuck: its freezing so you dont need an ice bucket

Ex mother: oh great im coming

Ex mother: yanan yuto are you guys coming

Ex mother: are either of you still even home

Yanan’s favorite: hyung yutos been here since this morning

Clumsy fuck: HE HAS WHY DIDNT THAT BITCH HELP ME

Precious child: Hyung says you’re really annoying. He says he didn’t want to help.

Clumsy fuck: fuck you yuto

Yutoda: no

Ex mother: whatever yanan are you still here

Ex mother: cause im leaving now so if you dont want to be left alone in the heat i suggest you come out to the living room

Ex mother: ...

Ex mother: nothing alright im leaving you here yanan bye

Yanan’s favorite: bitch dont leave someone as beautiful as yanan alone in the heat

Clumsy fuck: YANAN PLEASE COME HERE AND HELP ME ILL FEEL BETTER WITH YOUR LOVE

Ex mother: too late i left already he can walk if he wants

Giant baby: where is yanan he wasnt there when we left

Yutoda: he died

Clumsy fuck: WHAT NO

Clumy fuck: MY BEAUTIFUL YANAN IS DEAD

Clumsy fuck: WHAT HAPPENED DID YOU KILL HIM YUTO

Clumsy fuck: I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DID

Let me live please: shinwon could you PLEASE calm down

Better mother: yanan is fine he had an early class this morning

Better mother: yuto stop with the death comments

Clumsy fuck: OH MY GOD I ALMOST HAD A HEART ATTACK THERE  
  


Precious child: I have to leave now, you guys can take care of Shinwon Hyung, right?

Giant baby: well be fine as soon as shitwon stops screaming

Ex mother: that bitch is so loud damn i can hear him from the fucking stairs up there

Ex mother: the neighbors are gonna file a complaint

Yanan’s favorite: i think my ear drums are gonna blow out

Yanan’s favorite: im never going to be able to hear yanans beautiful voice again

Ex mother: oh my god i can hear again what did you do to get him to shut up

Giant baby: changgu hyung started strangling him and threatened to gouge out his eyes if he didnt stop screaming and then shitwon stopped because he “didnt want to lose the ability to see yanans beautiful face”

Yanan’s favorite: improvise, adapt, overcome

Ex mother: if it works it works

Better mother: changgu you could have handled that better

Giant baby: there are two types of moms in this world

Yanan’s favorite: whatever im going to the store to get some ice cream

Clumsy fuck: bitch you cant drive

Yanan’s favorite: yeah but i can walk

Yanan’s favorite: unlike you

Yanan’s favorite: anyone coming

Yanan’s favorite: great ive got a yuto that wants to get away from yalls loud asses anyone else

Yanan’s favorite: nope alright bye

Giant baby: sounds like a date 👀

Yanan’s favorite: its not

Sunshine: I’ll meet you guys there Changgu, my class just finished.

Clumsy fuck: YANAN YOURE NOT DEAD

Clumsy fuck: PLEASE COME TAKE CARE OF ME I ONLY NEED YOUR LOVE

Sunshine: Hyung you have four other people helping you. You’ll be fine.

Giant baby: lol shitwon got rejected again

Clumsy fuck: IM GOING TO FUCKING YEET MYSELF I SWEAR

  
  


* * *

  
  


Yanan’s favorite: yall the heat is fucking bad out here

Yanan’s favorite: i can barely walk straight anymore

Yanan’s favorite: is that a penguin

Yanan’s favorite: whats a penfuon doinf hrre

Yanan’s favorite: whretrd ytio go eh wsa with nr s mtinreu agi

Let me live please: changgu are you okay

Yanan’s favorite: yeha irn fien ehw

Better mother: changgu i think you need to sit down

Better mother: find some air conditioning

Better mother: you guys shouldnt have walked

Better mother: you shouldve asked me to drive you

Yanan’s favorite: hguin in firn ini slomnt thejr iik fiif uytu theh

Clumsy fuck: i hope he dies

Better mother: SHINWON

Ex mother: eh

Ex mother: he deserves it he should have known better than to walk in this heat

Yanan’s favorite: ewlk eidice mer btu mn aspoeewrtn ascitulay ash av o dint jnei rt woidl nr thri bas ortu

Giant baby: can anyone understand what hes saying anymore

Precious child: Changgu Hyung are you alright? Didn’t you bring water?

Yanan’s favorite: in ehw wourel o

Yanan’s favorite: o dint finoe io renkde ir

Precious child: Hyung where are you?

Yanan’s favorite: om gonjg ro hte stooe rof cie fmrwm

Yanan’s favorite: o ldot utoy utbt ist fidn ikl fied imh ehnw u gte theyr

Precious child: How did you lose Yuto Hyung? I thought you guys were going to the store together and Yanan Hyung was going to meet you there?

Yanan’s favorite: weht

Yutoda: im still here hes just really confused

Clumsy fuck: oh my gosh yuto knows how to text this is revolutionary

Precious child: Yuto Hyung where are you guys?

Yutoda: we made it to the store and were waiting for yanan hyung inside

Sunshine: I’m almost there. Get him some water or something.

Yutoda: i didnt sign up for babysitting

Yanan’s favorite: om fien guyd u jdur nred sorm wtwer

Precious child: Yuto Hyung please get him water?

Yutoda: fine

Ex mother: anyone else wondering how the fuck hyunggu understands what changgu is saying

Let me live please: a little bit yes

Clumsy fuck: if changgu dies then i dont have to worry about someone trying to steal yanan from me

Better mother: shinwon please shut up now is not the time

Better mother: guys im going to pick you up just wait there

Precious child: I’ll meet you guys there too. My class was cancelled since the professor got sick.

Better mother: hyunggu dont walk ill pick you up too

Precious child: It’s alright Hyung, I have water. Besides, I’m already on my way there.

Better mother: be careful

Giant baby: guys theres nothing good on tv

Clumsy fuck: thats cause we have no money to pay for the good channels

Clumsy fuck: were broke wooseok what do you want from us

Giant baby: food but apparently you guys dont have any of that either

Giant baby: your fridge is practically empty

Clumsy fuck: thats cause we dont have jinho hyung as our personal chef like you guys do

Clumsy fuck: we usually just eat ramen or order something

Ex mother: the only upside to being here over our apartment is the ac

Let me live please: jinho hyung have you gotten there yet i dont think i can stand being alone with these three anymore

Better mother: ive got yanan yuto and changgu were just waiting for hyunggu

Better mother: changgu is doing a little better now that hes got ac and water

Yanan’s favorite: ans icr crram

Yanan’s favorite: ans yanan

Better mother: alright hyunggus here were coming back

Let me live please: oh thank goodness

Clumsy fuck: YANAN HI YOURE COMING TO TAKE CARE OF ME

Sunshine: I’m coming to get some ac. And because Changgu is still a little confused.

Giant baby: heh shitwon still getting rejected

Clumsy fuck: if i could walk right now i would get up and jump out the window

Precious child: Hui Hyung, Jinho Hyung wants me to ask you if we should pick up pizza on our way back.

Giant baby: YES IM STARVING

Let me live please: yes please hyunggu thank you

Precious Child: Okay, we’re gonna pick up pizza and then we’ll head back. We’ll be there soon.

Let me live please: please be quick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translations for changgu:
> 
> whats a penguin doing here
> 
> where did yuto go he was with me a minute ago
> 
> yeah im fine why
> 
> hyung im fine im almost there ill find yuto then
> 
> well excuse me but my apartment actually has ac so i didnt know it would be this bad out
> 
> no why would i
> 
> i didnt think i needed it
> 
> im going to the store for ice cream
> 
> i lost yuto but its fine ill find him when i get there
> 
> what
> 
> im fine guys i just need some water
> 
> and ice cream
> 
> and yanan


	5. Chapter 5

**Pentacrack**

Clumsy fuck: SWEET FREEDOM

Clumsy fuck: YANAN HERE I COME

Yanan’s favorite: NO

Ex mother: what the fuck

Precious child: Shinwon Hyung can walk again.

Giant baby: oh shit hide your yanans

Yanan’s favorite: BITCH GET BACK HERE ITS STILL LIKE 100 OUT AND IM NOT SAVING YOU IF YOU OVERHEAT

Precious child: Shinwon Hyung just ran outside barefoot screaming about Yanan Hyung.

Precious child: He had no water, I’m worried.

Yanan’s favorite: whelp hes dead

Giant baby: oh no how terrible

Ex mother: on the bright side though WE HAVE AC AGAIN

Clumsy fuck: HOLY SHIT THE PAVEMENT IS HOT

Yanan’s favorite: thats what you fucking get you dumbass

Clumsy fuck: FUCK YOU CHANGGU

Yanan’s favorite: yeah no

Giant baby has changed Clumsy fuck’s name to “Clumsy dumbass”

Clumsy dumbass: FUCK YOU TOO WOOSEOK

Giant baby: ill be waiting

Ex mother: oh my god where are hui and jinho hyung i cant fucking handle you shits on my own

Giant baby: hyung what happened to being the better mother

Ex mother: fuck that shit yall didnt want me and i aint babysitting

Yanan’s favorite: you know when you think about it

Yanan’s favorite: jinho hyung is like the mom

Yanan’s favorite: hui hyung is the dad

Yanan’s favorite: and hongseok hyung is the annoying uncle

Ex mother: fuck you changgu

Giant baby: well then wheres our parents

Sunshine: Hui Hyung and Jinho Hyung went to get lunch.

Ex mother: AND THEY DIDNT INVITE ME???

Giant baby: sounds like a date 👀

Giant baby: ....

Giant baby: OMG NO ONE CORRECTED ME IS IT ACTUALLY A DATE

Yanan’s favorite: how would we know

Clumsy dumbass: whos on a date

Giant baby: hui hyung and jinho hyung

Clumsy dumbass: oh shit

Ex mother: yanan do you know where they went

Sunshine: Yes, why?

Ex mother: i wanna spy on them

Giant baby: oh can i come

Clumsy dumbass: wait ill come too im almost at your apartment

Yanan’s favorite: shitwons feet are probably dead again

Sunshine: You guys really shouldn’t spy on them....

Giant baby: wheres yuto

Yanan’s favorite: i dont know i still dont live with you

Ex mother: no one cares about yuto

Ex mother: yanan where are they

Sunshine: I’m going to have to not tell you, because I’m sure they don’t want you spying on them.

Ex mother: but what if i wanna join them im hungry

Yanan’s favorite: if it is a date them im sure they dont want you joining them anymore than they want you spying on them

Ex mother: fuck you changgu i like you better when youre unreasonable

Giant baby: guys shitwon actually ran here and now hes laying on our couch crying about how his feet hurt again

Yanan’s favorite: fucking

Yanan’s favorite: dumbass

Clumsy dumbass: wheres yanan he can heal me

Ex mother: yanan isnt even here

Giant baby: actually yanan where are you

Sunshine: In the deep sea of avoiding Shinwon Hyung.

Clumsy dumbass: why would you be there

Ex mother: damn i wonder

Giant baby: i think shitwons new name really fits

Clumsy dumbass: fuck you wooseok

Giant baby: still waiting

Let me live please: oh no what have i come back to

Giant baby: OMG WERE YALL ON A DATE

Let me live please: nevermind im leaving again

Ex mother: okay but yanan where are you

Sunshine: On a treasure hunt to find a place where Shinwon Hyung can’t follow me.

Clumsy dumbass: why would you be there either

Giant baby: seriously this is getting ridiculous

Giant baby: also did we lose yuto cause hes not home

Ex mother: yanans not home either

Giant baby: yeah but yanans answering our texts

Yanan’s favorite: whos gonna tell em

Sunshine: Not me, I’m still on that treasure hunt.

Precious child: What, that Yuto Hyung is at our apartment?

Yanan’s favorite: yeah that

Clumsy dumbass: he is why didnt i see him

Yanan’s favorite: cause he doesnt fucking like you

Clumsy dumbass: rude

Ex mother: okay thats one now wheres yanan

Ex mother: like where is he actually

Sunshine: In the mysterious realm of wherever Shinwon Hyung is not.

Clumsy dumbass: and why would you be there

Sunshine: Who knows.

Giant baby: what the fuck shitwon

  
  
  
  
  


**My love**

Visual god: hey where are you though

Sunshine: First of all, when and why did you change the name to that?

Visual god: just now

Visual god: and because i love you

Sunshine: Right. Anyways, I’m at that one coffee shop near your apartment. I left as soon as I heard Shinwon Hyung was coming to our apartment.

Visual god: oof

Visual god: can i meet you there

Sunshine: Yeah sure.

  
  
  
  
  


**Pentacrack**

Yanan’s favorite: hyunggu yuto yall are on your own im out

Ex mother: where are you going

Yanan’s favorite: unspecified

Clumsy dumbass: guys my feet hurt

Giant baby: thats what you fucking get

Clumsy dumbass: fuck you wooseok

Giant baby: again

Giant baby: STILL waiting

Ex mother: wooseok you disgust me

Giant baby: i can live with that

Clumsy dumbass: yo did hui hyung actually leave though

Let me live please: yes

Clumsy dumbass: oh

Giant baby: this is seriously starting to concern me

Ex mother: hey yuto hyunggu do you guys want to get lunch im sick of wooseok and shitwon

Precious child: Sure Hyung.

Precious child: Yuto Hyung says yes too.

Ex mother: great

Giant baby: no dont leave me

Ex mother: im leaving you

Ex mother: hey changgu do you wanna come too

Yanan’s favorite: no im with yanan

Clumsy dumbass: EXCUSE ME BITCH

Giant baby: sounds like a date 👀

Yanan’s favorite: could be 👀

Sunshine: Changgu.

Yanan’s favorite: sorry

Better mother: whos on a date

Giant baby: you

Better mother: i am?

Giant baby: idk are you

Better mother: am i?

Giant baby: yeah thats what im asking are you

Better mother: am i?

Giant baby: URGH

Clumsy dumbass: yall are on a date?

Better mother: are we?

Yanan’s favorite: this is mildly entertaining

Giant baby: ARE YOU OR ARE YOU NOT ON A FUCKING DATE

Better mother:  ¯\\_( **ツ** )_/¯

Giant baby: FUCK

Clumsy dumbass: wait so are they on a date

Ex mother: no theyre on a friendly hangout

Clumsy dumbass: really

Yanan’s favorite: dumbass

Clumsy dumbass: fuck you

Yanan’s favorite: you have wooseok for that

Clumsy dumbass: what

Ex mother: oh my god im leaving

Let me live please: this group chat is a fucking mess


	6. Chapter 6

**Pentacrack**

Giant baby: guys i think we lost yuto again

Ex mother: oh yeah i havent seen him all morning

Ex mother: or last night actually

Ex mother: now that i think about it i havent seen him since last saturday when we went to lunch

Clumsy dumbass: yuto went to lunch with you alone?

Ex mother: no

Ex mother: hyunggu was there too

Giant baby: seriously where is yuto i havent seen him since like last wednesday at changgu hyung shitwon and hyunggus apartment

Ex mother: its still a good 90 out

Ex mother: do you think he passed out somewhere from the heat and just melted together with the sidewalk

Giant baby: oh shit

Yanan’s favorite: you guys seriously-

Yanan’s favorite: are yall as dumb as shitwon

Yanan’s favorite: does no one tell you anything

Yanan’s favorite: do you even leave your rooms

Yanan’s favorite: wtf

Ex mother: well im feeling disrespected here

Yanan’s favorite: good

Yanan’s favorite: youre a dumbass

Yanan’s favorite has changed Ex mother’s name to “About as dumb as shitwon pt 1”

Yanan’s favorite has changed Giant baby’s name to “About as dumb as shitwon pt 2”

About as dumb as shitwon pt 1: you

About as dumb as shitwon pt 2: fucking

Clumsy dumbass: rat

Let me live please: things just got very confusing

Yanan’s favorite has changed Let me live please’s name to “A taken man”

A taken man: do i need to take away your admin rights changgu

A taken man: what does mine even mean

Yanan’s favorite: it means youre a taken man

Better mother: i leave for 15 minutes

Yanan’s favorite has changed Better mother’s name to “The other taken man”

The other taken man: what

About as dumb as shitwon pt 2: someone stop him

Precious child: What’s happening?

Yanan’s favorite has changed Precious child’s name to “Smol bean”

Smol bean: :(

Yanan’s favorite has changed Smol bean’s name to “Precious smol bean”

Precious smol bean: :D

A taken man: this is too confusing i need a nap

Clumsy dumbass: wooseok dont you have fucking admin rights too

About as dumb as shitwon pt 2: no hui hyung took them away

Clumsy dumbass: shit

About as dumb as shitwon pt 1: hey jinho hyung would you mind fucking controlling your child please and thank you

Yanan’s favorite: i cant help it yall fucking dumb

The other taken man: what about the rest of us

Yanan’s favorite: oh those were just fun

Sunshine: Changgu don’t be mean.

Yanan’s favorite: but they still dont know about yuto

Yanan’s favorite: did no one tell them

About as dumb as shitwon pt 1: WHAT

Yanan’s favorite: UGH

The other taken man: no we wanted to see how long it would take them to notice

Yanan’s favorite: oh my god

The other taken man: now changgu will you please explain my name

Yanan’s favorite: no

Clumsy dumbass: wait what are we not telling them

Precious smol bean: That Yuto Hyung lives with us now I think.

Clumsy dumbass: WAIT HE DOES

Clumsy dumbass: FOR HOW FUCKING LONG

About as dumb as shitwon pt 1: um excuse me we have an extra bed for my shit now and no one fucking told me

About as dumb as shitwon pt 2: is that why yuto hasnt been sleeping in our room for like a week and a half now

Yanan’s favorite: you-

Yanan’s favorite: YOU SHARED A ROOM WITH HIM AND YOU DIDNT FUCKING KNOW

Yanan’s favorite: I FUCKING GIVE UP

About as dumb as shitwon pt 1: wooseok i think i understand our names now

Yanan’s favorite: NO FUCKING SHIT

About as dumb as shitwon pt 2: huh

Clumsy dumbass: im sorry im still lost yuto liVES HERE

Clumsy dumbass: FOR A WEEK AND A HALF

Clumsy dumbass: AND NO ONE FUCKING TOLD ME

Precious smol bean: I mean he did avoid you because he says you’re annoying.

Clumsy dumbass: FUCK YOU YUTO

Yutoda: no

A taken man: okay im back and im still extremely confused

The other taken man: i still want to know what my name is supposed to mean

Yanan’s favorite: ...

Yanan’s favorite: am i the only one here that thinks

Sunshine: Changgu calm down.

Yanan’s favorite: i cant

Yanan’s favorite: this is ridiculous

Sunshine: Do you need coffee?

Yanan’s favorite: i need you

Sunshine: I’ll bring you coffee. Where are you?

Yanan’s favorite: im at the library

Sunshine: Okay.

About as dumb as shitwon pt 2: bitch what are you doing at the fucking library

Yanan’s favorite: trying to find my fucking sanity after you dumb shits made me lose it

Sunshine: Changgu.

Yanan’s favorite: sorry

Clumsy dumbass: wait im sorry im still on the fact that yuto fucking lives here now and yet i havent seen him fucking once

About as dumb as shitwon pt 1: move on bitch

About as dumb as shitwon pt 1: i want food

About as dumb as shitwon pt 1: jinho hyung are you cooking tonight

The other taken man: no hui and i are getting takeout

Yanan’s favorite: ...

About as dumb as shitwon pt 2: sounds like a date  👀

A taken man: nah were just hanging out

The other taken man: right

The other taken man: totally

The other taken man: thats exactly it

Yanan’s favorite has changed A taken man’s name to “Oblivious”

Oblivious: what

The other taken man: changgu thats not nice

Yanan’s favorite has changed The other taken man’s name to “A single independent woman”

A single independent woman: ...

Yanan’s favorite: :D

Yanan’s favorite: yanan is here

Yanan’s favorite: now im happy


	7. Chapter 7

**Pentacrack**

About as dumb as shitwon pt 2: whats up fuckers

Clumsy dumbass: changgu is still trying to steal yanan from me

About as dumb as shitwon pt 2: wow that sucks you should defenestrate him

Clumsy dumbass: i should what now

About as dumb as shitwon pt 2: you know

About as dumb as shitwon pt 2: defenestrate him

About as dumb as shitwon pt 2: throw him out the window

About as dumb as shitwon pt 2: eject him from your apartment via window

About as dumb as shitwon pt 2: yall live on the 8th floor its not like hell be walking out of it to have you arrested

Clumsy dumbass: huh thats not a bad idea

A single independent woman: yeah how about dont do that

Yanan’s favorite: stop being salty bitch you should have known that yanan would never love your ugly ass

Clumsy dumbass: listen you little shit

About as dumb as shitwon pt 1: wheres hui

Yanan’s favorite: again i say

Yanan’s favorite: you live with him

About as dumb as shitwon pt 2: hes at work i think

About as dumb as shitwon pt 1: hui has a job

About as dumb as shitwon pt 2: yeah i guess so

About as dumb as shitwon pt 1: huh

About as dumb as shitwon pt 1: and wheres jinho hyung

About as dumb as shitwon pt 1: jinho hyung where are you

About as dumb as shitwon pt 1: ...

About as dumb as shitwon pt 1: bitch i know youre on here

About as dumb as shitwon pt 1: wheres everyone else

Sunshine: Changgu and I are having dinner.

About as dumb as shitwon pt 2: sounds like a date 👀

Sunshine: Whatever floats your boat.

Yanan’s favorite: hyunggu is taking a nap

Yanan’s favorite: i think yuto had an interview

Clumsy dumbass: what do yall think hyunggu would do if i woke him up

Yanan’s favorite: hyunggu wouldnt do anything himself

Yanan’s favorite: but yuto would kill you

Clumsy dumbass: wait why

Yanan’s favorite: i swear to god

Sunshine: Changgu.

Yanan’s favorite: right im turning off my phone bye fuckers

About as dumb as shitwon pt 1: shitwon i assume youre at home then

Clumsy dumbass: yeah but im leaving before i feel yutos wrath

About as dumb as shitwon pt 2: did you wake up hyunggu

Clumsy dumbass: ...

Clumsy dumbass: maybe

About as dumb as shitwon pt 1: do you really believe changgu that yuto would kill you

Clumsy dumbass: i dont believe any of the shit that bitch says

Clumsy dumbass: but after i woke hyunggu up he got sad and then i got a text from yuto saying that he was going to stab me and hang my corpse on a stick for the vultures

Clumsy dumbass: and frankly yuto scares me

About as dumb as shitwon pt 1: you fucked up

About as dumb as shitwon pt 1: bad

About as dumb as shitwon pt 1: good luck

About as dumb as shitwon pt 2: you can come hide here

About as dumb as shitwon pt 2: i think hongseok hyung and i are the only ones home

Clumsy dumbass: aight im coming

About as dumb as shitwon pt 1: are we really the only ones home

About as dumb as shitwon pt 2: yeah i guess so

About as dumb as shitwon pt 2: hui hyung is at work

About as dumb as shitwon pt 2: yanan hyung is on a date

About as dumb as shitwon pt 2: and jinho hyung is mia

About as dumb as shitwon pt 1: jinho hyung where are you

About as dumb as shitwon pt 1: seriously i know youre here

A single independent woman: i am absolutely nowhere

A single independent woman: just focus on making sure yuto doesnt kill shinwon please

A single independent woman: pay no attention to me

About as dumb as shitwon pt 1: alright then

Clumsy dumbass: alright im coming up the stairs

Clumsy dumbass: i may have also brought a bag because i dont want to sleep anywhere near yuto tonight i fear for my life

About as dumb as shitwon pt 1: you know what

About as dumb as shitwon pt 1: sure just stay the night

About as dumb as shitwon pt 1: you can have yutos old bed

Clumsy dumbass: thank you

Precious smol bean: Hyung you’re mean. :(

Clumsy dumbass: hey hyunggu can you call off your boyfriend i dont want to die

Precious smol bean: Yuto Hyung isn’t going to do anything Hyung.

Clumsy dumbass: i dont fucking trust that

Clumsy dumbass: wait are you just like

Clumsy dumbass: sitting in the dark waiting for yuto to get home

Precious smol bean: No, I’m going to meet Yuto Hyung to eat since clearly no one else will be home for dinner.

About as dumb as shitwon pt 2: sounds like a date 👀

Yutoda: it is

About as dumb as shitwon pt 2: WAIT WHAT

About as dumb as shitwon pt 2: GET BACK HERE AND EXPLAIN THAT SHIT BITCH

Clumsy dumbass: well shit

About as dumb as shitwon pt 1: looks like were getting fast food tonight then


	8. Chapter 8

**Pentacrack**

Oblivious: hey guys wheres jinho hyung

Yanan’s favorite: oh my fucking god how many times do i have to say it

Yanan’s favorite: you live with him

Oblivious: that doesnt mean i know where he is 24/7

Oblivious: do you know where yuto hyunggu and shinwon are right now

Yanan’s favorite: yuto and hyunggu are on a date

Yanan’s favorite: shitwon is in the kitchen whining about not be able to cook for shit

Oblivious: huh

About as dumb as shitwon pt 2: wait theyre actually on a date

About as dumb as shitwon pt 2: oh my god my fucking otp

Yanan’s favorite has changed About as dumb as shitwon pt 2’s name to “Man who thinks everything is a date”

Man who thinks everything is a date: YOU JUST SAID IT WAS A DATE

Yanan’s favorite: SARCASM BITCH

Precious smol bean: It is a date.

Yanan’s favorite: oh

Yanan’s favorite: then nevermind it wasnt sarcasm i guess

Man who thinks everything is a date: HAH I WAS RIGHT

About as dumb as shitwon pt 1: can you change my name too please

Yanan’s favorite has changed About as dumb as shitwon pt 1’s name to “Annoying uncle”

Annoying uncle: hui can you take away changgus admin rights

Oblivious: i still wanna know where jinho hyung is

Annoying uncle: oh

Annoying uncle: i dont fucking know i havent seen him around for like 3 days

Annoying uncle: not since the day that shitwon slept over because he was hiding from yuto

Annoying uncle: i dont think he came home that night

Man who thinks everything is a date: come to think of it

Man who thinks everything is a date: weve had some form of takeout since that night

Annoying uncle: yeah thats weird jinho hyung always cooks

Annoying uncle: where have you been hui

Oblivious: working...

Oblivious: but you guys must have just missed him

Oblivious: theres no way he hasnt been home for days

Man who thinks everything is a date: well have you seen him since

Oblivious: no...

Yanan’s favorite: good job

Annoying uncle: yanan have you seen him

Annoying uncle: we havent lost yanan too have we

Man who thinks everything is a date: no i just saw him this morning

Yanan’s favorite: yanan is fine

Clumsy dumbass: bitch what did you do to him

Yanan’s favorite: bitch i didnt do anything to him

Clumsy dumbass: bitch

Yanan’s favorite: bitch

Oblivious: changgu do you know where yanan is

Yanan’s favorite: yes

Oblivious: um okay can you tell us

Yanan’s favorite: no

Oblivious: why not...

Yanan’s favorite: unspecified

Clumsy dumbass: BITCH DID YOU FUCKING KIDNAP MY LOVE

Yanan’s favorite: oh my god no you dumbass

Annoying uncle: great so the apparent couple are on a date, shitwon is being shitwon, wooseok and i are bored, changgu is being an ass, hui is confused, yanan is somewhere that we apparently arent allowed to know, and jinho hyung is still mia

Annoying uncle: did i miss anyone

Man who thinks everything is a date: oh my god

Man who thinks everything is a date: we are a fucking  _ mess _

Clumsy dumbass: YOU FUCKING THINK??


	9. Chapter 9

**Pentacrack**

Clumsy dumbass: you know

Clumsy dumbass: with jinho hyung missing

Clumsy dumbass: i think we need a stand in mom

Yanan’s favorite has changed Annoying uncle to “Stand in mom”

Stand in mom: oh NOW you want me to be your mom


	10. Chapter 10

**Pentacrack**

Sunshine: Changgu

Yanan’s favorite has removed Oblivious from the group chat

Stand in mom: i found yanan

Sunshine: We have a crisis

Stand in mom: yeah we do

Stand in mom: youre not using proper punctuation

Stand in mom: what happened to you

Stand in mom: going under all but one radar for 24 hours has really gotten to you hasnt it

Yanan’s favorite: hyung this is serious

Man who thinks everything is a date: did we really have to remove hui hyung isnt he like the main person we should be seeing about a crisis if jinho hyung is still mia

Sunshine: Wonderful that you’ve brought up Jinho Hyung

Man who thinks everything is a date: i dont like that

A single independent woman: its fine guys dont worry about it

Stand in mom: sounds just splendid

Stand in mom: also youre not dead thats a miracle

Sunshine: It is  _ not _ fine

Man who thinks everything is a date: im sorry im not following

Yanan’s favorite: basically

Yanan’s favorite: we need to defenestrate hui hyung

Man who thinks everything is a date: NOW YOURE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE

Man who thinks everything is a date: lets do it

A single independent woman: NO DONT DO ANYTHING TO HIM

A single independent woman: THATS NOT NECESSARY

Sunshine: Yes it is

Stand in mom: holy shit yanan wants to hurt someone

Stand in mom: i think yuto took yanans phone guys

Yutoda: bitch

Stand in mom: thats hyung to you

Yutoda: BITCH

Stand in mom: jinho hyung please come back i dont want to be a mom anymore

A single independent woman: i would actually rather throw myself in a pit of quicksand you can have them

Precious smol bean: Hyung what happened?   
  


A single independent woman: nothing im fine go eat your oreos

Precious smol bean: Shinwon Hyung ate them all...

A single independent woman: shinwon go buy him more oreos

Clumsy dumbass: WHAT

Sunshine: FOCUS GUYS

Man who thinks everything is a date: hui hyung just texted me and asked me to add him back to the group chat

Man who thinks everything is a date: i told him i cant because he took away my admin rights

Stand in mom: i guess thats what he gets then

Stand in mom: dumbass

Sunshine: GUYS

Clumsy dumbass: hang on a second i dont want to get up and go buy oreos

Precious smol bean: Maybe you shouldn’t have eaten mine then.:(

Clumsy dumbass: fuck that shit make your boyfriend buy you oreos

Precious smol bean: Yuto Hyung didn’t eat them though!

Sunshine: GUYS SERIOUSLY

Man who thinks everything is a date: so are we just like not gonna acknowledge the fact that he doesnt even deny yuto hyung being his boyfriend

Stand in mom: i guess not

A single independent woman: its fine yanan i dont think anyone cares

Precious smol bean: I want oreos.:’(

Sunshine: NO IT’S NOT FINE

Man who thinks everything is a date: shitwon you made hyunggu cry

Yutoda: bitch

A single independent woman: really yanan it doesnt matter much ill be okay

Clumsy dumbass: HOLY SHIT WAIT OKAY ILL GET HIM OREOS JUST DONT LET YUTO KILL ME

Sunshine: It’s not okay Hyung this is serious and none of them are even paying attention

Sunshine: guys please

Man who thinks everything is a date: wait so im confused are they just like

Man who thinks everything is a date: a couple now

Stand in mom: i guess so

A single independent woman: yanan you dont have to worry about it theyre not gonna listen

Man who thinks everything is a date: and were just NOT gonna question that

Stand in mom: it sure looks that way

Sunshine: Changgu please help

Yanan’s favorite has named the group chat “Y’all Better Shut Your Tiddies and Listen to the Love of My Life Before You Lose Your Dicks”

Stand in mom: ...

Man who thinks everything is a date: im listening

Sunshine: GREAT

Sunshine: So, the reason that Jinho Hyung hasn’t been around in days is because he’s been staying with him mom in Busan.

Clumsy dumbass: you really had to go off the grid for THAT hyung

Sunshine: I’M NOT FINISHED SHINWON SHUT UP

Sunshine: Now, do you all know WHY Jinho Hyung went there without notice?

Man who thinks everything is a date: um impromptu vacation

Sunshine: THAT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION WOOSEOK ZIP IT

Sunshine: He went there because a certain SOMEONE is an oblivious idiot, and Hyung needed a break to clear his head.

Clumsy dumbass: im sorry i dont understand can you dumb it down a bit

Yanan’s favorite: jinho hyung likes hui hyung but hui hyung is dumb and doesnt notice which made jinho hyung sad so he visited him mom in busan to cheer himself up and he didnt tell anyone because he didnt want you all to bother him but it ended up not helping and hes still sad because hui hyung is a dumb shit so we need to made hui hyung be NOT dumb

Clumsy dumbass: okay i got that one

Sunshine: Thank you Changgu.

Yanan’s favorite: always ❤

A single independent woman: when you put it that way it sounds like im not fine

A single independent woman: im perfectly fine i dont know why youre making a big deal out of it guys

Sunshine: Hyung you just started crying.

Sunshine: The other passengers on the train are concerned.

A single independent woman: no im fine i swear

Stand in mom: im going to beat up hui ill be right back

A single independent woman: no dont i promise im fine

Precious smol bean: FIGHT FOR MOM!

A single independent woman: guys im really fine

Yanan’s favorite: hyung you know you dont have to pretend to be fine right?

Yanan’s favorite: we care about you a lot you know

A single independent woman: ...

A single independent woman: alright...

A single independent woman: im not fine

A single independent woman: im really not fine

Precious smol bean: Hyung.:’(

Yanan’s favorite has changed A single independent woman’s name to “Our beautiful mom”

Yanan’s favorite has name the group chat “Mom Protection Squad”

Our beautiful mom: thank you changgu

Man who thinks everything is a date: so what are we gonna do

Yanan’s favorite: ive got an idea


	11. Chapter 11

Yanan sighed as he watched the scenery go by through the train’s window. He knew that soon the beautiful trees and fields would turn to city buildings and dirty streets. They would be there soon. He only hoped that Changgu’s plan went well. Next to him, Jinho had fallen asleep. The older boy’s eyes were red and puffy, and his cheeks were stained from tears.

Yanan silently prayed that things would turn out alright. When Jinho had called him the morning before, crying, Yanan had immediately gotten on a train to help his Hyung. He’d been worried even before that, but now he was nervous. The boy had fallen asleep before Changgu told them his plan.

As they pulled up into the station, Yanan spotted it. He shook Jinho awake but blocked the window as he did. As they made their way off the train, Yanan hoped that Jinho didn’t look out the window. Yanan led them off, and smiled. He looked back at Jinho. The older boy was rubbing his eyes and wasn’t paying much attention.

Yanan quickly veered to the left and ducked into the crowd. He looked back to find Jinho suddenly confused. Yanan kept his head low and made his way to the street, where he found Changgu waiting like he’d said. “Do you really think this will work?” Yanan asked. Changgu nodded, “I think so. You know, so long as Hui Hyung doesn’t fuck it up.” Yanan made a face, “Well there’s a pretty high chance of that.”

The pair wandered back into the station, making sure to stay out of sight. “I see him,” Yanan said, pointing to where Hui was walking towards Jinho. The oldest was still turning around trying to find Yanan. “Bingo,” Changgu said, “Come out, let’s go. They can figure it out from here.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


Jinho looked around in confusion wondering where Yanan had disappeared to. One moment the taller boy was right in front of him, and the next he was gone. He looked through the crowd, trying to find a head that was a little higher than the others, but he had no luck.

As he looked around, he noticed several people giving him strange looks. He couldn’t blame them. He was a confused, short boy, whose face was red and streaked from dried tears. A finger tapped his shoulder. He swirled around, hoping Yanan had found him, but the face he looked up at was not Yanan’s.

Hui smiled awkwardly. Jinho only blinked, unable to move. After several awkward beats, Hui cleared his throat, “Um, hi?” Jinho still didn’t know how to respond. He was aware of what he must look like. He was in his worst state, and he really didn’t want Hui to see him like this.

Hui coughed nervously, “Are you, um, okay?” Jinho decided words were not a good idea right now. He nodded. “Really?” Hui said, “You don’t look okay.” Jinho looked down. He let Hui lead him the car parked outside. As they drove away from the train station, Hui spoke again, “So, I heard you went to your mom’s house.” Jinho nodded. “So that’s where you’ve been for 4 days?” Another nod. “Do you want to tell me why?”

Jinho looked down. He stayed silent. Hui sighed, “Jinho, you know you can tell me anything right? I’m your best friend.” “That’s just it,” Jinho said suddenly, not looking up. He felt himself tearing up again as he spoke, “That’s all I am to you. Even though I like you, you never noticed. I’m just your friend.”

Hui slowly pulled the car into a restaurant parking lot. He parked the car and turned to Jinho, “Do you really like me?” Jinho nodded. “Oh,” Hui said, “Well, I like you too. I didn’t realize you liked me.” Jinho laughed, “Changgu is right. You’re oblivious.” Hui smiled too, “Maybe.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Mom Protection Squad**

Our beautiful mom: changgu you can ad him back now

Yanan’s favorite has added Oblivious to the group chat!

Yanan’s favorite has changed Oblivious’s name to “Dad?”

Dad?: ...

Precious smol bean: Is mom okay now?

Our beautiful mom: yep, mom is okay now

Precious smol bean: :D

Stand in mom: oh thank god i can be the annoying uncle again

Stand in mom: changgu

Yanan’s favorite has changed Stand in mom’s name to “Annoying uncle”

Annoying uncle: all is right with the world again

Man who thinks everything is a date: no its not im still stuck on the fact that the angel and the devil were dating and didnt fucking tell us

Precious smol bean: Does it make you feel better that we were dating before Yuto Hyung moved here?

Man who thinks everything is a date: NO NO IT DOES NOT

Precious smol bean: Oh. Well.

Dad?: wait i think i missed a lot

Dad?: yuto and hyunggu are dating?

Dad?: when?

Dad?: why?

Dad?: youre like polar opposites

Yanan’s favorite: its true though

Yanan’s favorite: its like wooseok said, angel and devil

Yanan’s favorite has changed Yutoda’s name to “Giant devil”

Yanan’s favorite has changed Precious smol bean’s name to “Little angel”

Giant devil: was that necessary

Yanan’s favorite: yes

Giant devil: whatever

Dad?: no im still confused you two are dating

Giant devil: yes

Dad?: why

Giant devil: because we love each other

Dad?: ...

Dad?: aw

Little angel: :D

Our beautiful mom: my kids are so grown up

Clumsy dumbass: whelp looks like the angel and devil are gone cause i am apparently the only one in our apartment right now

Clumsy dumbass: hell knows where they went

Man who thinks everything is a date: jinho hyung does this mean youre coming home

Our beautiful mom: not yet

Our beautiful mom: hui and i are going to get food

Man who thinks everything is a date: ...

Man who thinks everything is a date: sounds

Man who thinks everything is a date: like

Man who thinks everything is a date: a

Man who thinks everything is a date: date

Our beautiful mom: it is

Man who thinks everything is a date: im so proud of my parents :’)

Yanan’s favorite: well yanan it looks like our work here is done

Sunshine: Thank goodness. Your plan worked. Good job. ❤

Yanan’s favorite: ❤

Sunshine: Coffee?

Yanan’s favorite: and you ❤

Clumsy dumbass: i wanna defenestrate myself

Man who thinks everything is a date: no youre supposed to defenestrate changgu hyung i thought you wanted yanan hyung

Clumsy dumbass: fuck it

Clumsy dumbass: theyre happy

Man who thinks everything is a date: glad youve finally come around

Clumsy dumbass: well what am i supposed to do now?

Man who thinks everything is a date: im still waiting on that offer to fuck

Clumsy dumbass: ...

Clumsy dumbass: im still the only one home

Man who thinks everything is a date: be there in ten ;)

Annoying uncle: And there you have it, a happy ending. Everyone ends up in a happy relationship. Well, except me of course. But what do you expect? There’s 9 of us. Someone’s gotta be left alone. Oh well. You’re probably quite bored by now, it must not be very entertaining to watch 9 idiots do stupid shit for  12 chapters straight. Well, if you are, then I’m sorry, but this is just our lives. However, if you’re leaving this feeling satisfied, or even sad that it is over, then good for you. Now, I must say farewell, for the story is almost over. But fear not, for we shall live the rest of our lives in happiness. And sure, we’ll have some ups and downs, but you’ve caught us at probably the most eventful part of our lives. So go, spread the word of our adventures, dear friend. I shall, in my loneliness, wait.

Dad?: hongseok what the fuck

Our beautiful mom: hey hongseok i have a friend whos single if youre interested

Annoying uncle: ...

Annoying uncle: GIVE ME


End file.
